Since when is ‘I’m bored’ the new pickup line?
Social media is such an adventure these days. We can meet, interact, play games, and just about anything else with people worldwide. While online dating is undoubtedly a hot commodity, it’s only natural that a good bit of flirting happens in other online avenues as well. Don’t get me wrong- finding someone you connect with in an unlikely source is a great surprise, but some make the experience less than gratifying.
Middle-aged females will likely empathize with me over receiving messages from foreign people claiming to be members of our American military that are in love with us, the older men with two first names that ask a ton of personal questions then try to get you to chat on google hangouts, the inbox of men saying “hi” repeatedly, and of course the unsolicited dick pic.
What gets me is the younger guy who slides into our DM’s, and the message is “wyd?” Followed by “I’m bored.” Since when is ‘I’m bored’ a pickup line? Does this ever actually work? In the modern age of technology, when people can do pretty much whatever they want at any time, why are there so many bored young people? Now, I understand they are trying to seem cool and aloof but come on now, ‘I’m bored’ is what you choose to go with?
To me, telling me you’re bored says you lack creativity. On that note, I don’t expect that conversation to go very far, so I don’t put much effort into it. Sometimes though, I get a little feisty and call them out.
My favorite response is quoting Ruth Burke with “only boring people get bored.” Most commonly, I get the reaction of “I’m not a boring person!” To which I reply, ‘great, so I’m sure you have lots to talk about,’ which nine times out of ten leads to “what are you wearing?” Now, I have no intention of going to cougar town with someone biologically young enough to be my son, so to answer his question, I say ‘a unicorn onesie.’
Since I am a helpful person with a creative mind, sometimes I try to help the poor lad out. I like to give helpful suggestions with a great deal of sarcasm. For example, I say tell me a story and then give them a ridiculous writing prompt.
I may suggest they expand their mind and read a book, then come back and tell me about it.
Another suggestion might be to organize, clean, cook something new. There’s usually very little interest in these suggestions.
Next might be a suggestion to start a new hobby. ‘What’s something you’ve wanted to do?’ I ask.
And when all else fails: ‘THE FLOOR IS LAVA!’
I have, at times, chatted with people who are younger than me and had an enjoyable conversation. I peg these pour souls with the question, ‘what’s wrong with the rest of your people?’
It turns out, none of us seem to know.
